Ransack the Universe Blog!

The Earth has completed yet another revolution around the Sun, just as the Mayans arranged to happen, and many of us are still here in early A.D. 2012. The quaint, sleepy village of Bloordale has once again become a glistening, crystalline, winter wonderland, populated by weasels. Even in these times of hibernation, make sure to poke your head out of your burrow now and then to score some Vitamin D and fill your lungs with air, if only so that we at Ransack can live vicariously through you, Dear Reader. As we embark on our third year, we thank you for your custom, it is appreciated, and we offer thanks to everyone who helped make 2011 our most recent year ever.

Effective immediately, any meager proceeds Ransack makes will be remitted directly to the heirs of the Walmart fortune. We regret only that the amount could not be more.

Here’s a sneak peek at the new Ransack staff look. Have a nice day!

What would Jimi do? Give records as presents, obvsly. ‘Nuff said.

If you’ve ever furrowed your brow with thoughts about your options narrowing and your choices being made for you, about plastic cesspools in the Pacific Ocean, about fostering community diversity and neighbourhood flavour, about the value of artists and artisans, about the political economy of sweatshop production, or if you recognize the work that goes into being an independent entrepreneur, or even if you are just wondering how to keep the holidays from yet again turning staler than a fruitcake, consider us this gift-giving season and maybe take a second to tell a friend too. We’ve been scouring the galaxy for funky and unique treasures, handmade as well as vintage. And if not Ransack the Universe, then support another small business in your area that you would like to see be there next year. Thanks for listening, we’ve gotta run to the mall now, cases of jumbo-size pepper spray are half off!!!!1!!!

Here’s something fun — a bit like a treasure hunt! All November, Ransack is offering 20% off of stuff with 4 legs. You are invited on an expedition through our subterranean jungle of oddities to find all kinds of things that would qualify for the discount: tables and chairs of course, but also donkey figurines, toasters shaped like brontosauruses, taxidermied wolverines. (There might be a couple of exceptions, but the offer is in effect 99 44/100% of the time)

Here’s a short practice quiz to help you get used to spotting things that would be discounted.

How did you do? If you scored 0 or better, you are ready to visit Ransack’s 4 Legged Sale.

Yup, we got a phone number. We still like emails alot. Or text us at that phone number. Or visit so we can gaze into your beautiful eyes.

S-is-for-swap, ok?

Is your attic full of craft supplies? They sure are not much good to anyone up there in that musty old attic! Or maybe you have just had a pin inserted in your ankle and are going to be laid up in bed for 6-8 weeks. What a terrific time to take up a crafty hobby, in which case you will need materials, obvsly. Whatever the situation, you probably need to drop by our Craft Swap on Sunday September 18th at 2-ish. You could bring finished items you made or just supplies, or really, you could just come have a cookie. It will be a casual affair, not a big organized sort of thing.

You’ll find slightly more details on our “Facebook” event page. Or you could email us a question

Still haven’t decided whether craft swapping is for you?
Ask youself: WWTSD? What Would Turkish Superman Do?

Blogging; who can keep up with it, right?

We still exist. More than ever. Come visit us at 1207 Bloor and see what’s new. Those responsible for the delay have been sacked.

Meanwhile, enjoy this:

One of the only photos of C.L. LePetomane

Abandoned as a baby in a basket somewheres in the mountainous backwoods of remotest Appalachia, Ross Stuart was taken in by a clan of kindly snake-handlers and raised up good in the old ways.  In the hopes of supplementing the family income which was based chiefly on moonshine and squirrel pelts, young Ross was apprenticed to the last living original artisan of the Iron Ukulele, Cletus Lemuel LePetomane (1865-1966).

At dusk, the clear ringing tones and bluesy metal twangs of these ancient instruments would ricochet among the hills and valleys all around LePetomane’s homestead.  By the slenderest of threads was the tradition preserved; in time, Ross surpassed his master and is now a cunning master craftsman in his own right of beautiful Old Timey resophonic ukuleles.

Wooden Mushrooms!

In his turn, Ross too has taken an apprentice, his trusty sidekick Maxie, and together they have taken it upon themselves to gather every naturally fallen tree branch in Dufferin Grove Park and turn them into wooden mushrooms.  Available in different sizes and all unique, these make a fetching addition to any windowsill, mantelpiece, desktop, coffee table, garden, dorm room, hobbit hole, or omelette.

They said it couldn’t be done.  But recently in his secret workshop Ross finally succeeded in combining his two brilliant creations, the ukuleles and the mushrooms, into: The Great Mush-Uke.  An unholy alliance, like fish genes and tomatoes?  Or greater than the sum of its parts, like Voltron?  You be the judge!  Because we are now privileged to share with you rare footage that has only just come to light of Ross and his Mush-Uke.  Mush-Ukes are an astonishing deal for a hand-crafted instrument, good for beginners and still fun for experienced ukulele-ists alike, and available only at Ransack.  Check out the video link, and if you listen real close, you can almost hear echoing down the misty corridors of time the cackling ghost of old Cletus, clog-stomping on the porch of his shotgun shack and tickled to know his ancestral music is still being handed down today, thanks to Ross.

(With thanks to Dingles the happy elf who contributed reporting to this blog post)

VIDEO HERE: watch?v=q-u_Oz6b0Dw

Big News fellow Ransack lovers. We have E-X-P-A-N-D-E-D Ransack the Universe has taken over the entire basement level of the 69 Vintage Collective. In addition to the loads of handmade crafts and vintage knick knacks, we now have a room full of vintage furniture. So in one trip you can buy a unique gift for everyone you know, a kitchen table to wrap those gifts on and the music to set the mood while you wrap. The new space has also allowed us to broaden our used book section as well. Come on in and check out our new expanded digs.

In other news a wonderfully insightful blog [pageslap] has recognized that we are pretty awesome. More awesome than even we think we are. Check out the blog post on Ransack and all other musings featuring all that is funny and genius on the interweb.

Ransack will be making the rounds this season with a bunch of appearances in November and December. That’s right! Someone is letting us out of our basement cave. Hopefully the sun won’t be shining too brightly on those days as our eyes have gotten accustom to the cool electric glow of fluorescent lighting. Come visit us and tons of other great crafters. Here’s where we’ll be:

November 20- 16th Annual Swansea Craft Show
November 25- Garden Avenue Annual Holiday Craft Fair
November 26- St. Pius X Christmas Bazaar
December 1- CBC Charity Craft Show
December 4- Parkdale Bazaar- Holiday Edition